Winning Calendar Tetris

I brought this on myself

I had developed a habit of saying ‘yes’ to every meeting invitation that came my way. This wasn’t a case of FOMO. I had followed the advice of a former CEO. His life hack was to say yes to everything and then let his calendar resolve itself. He reckoned (correctly at the time – we’re pre-iPhone here) that most meetings get rescheduled anyway. Saying yes to everything allowed him to appear amenable and he rarely needed to do any heavy lifting to free up a conflict.

This approach worked pre-pandemic when physical presence for meetings was the norm, but once the world moved onto Zoom, meetings became more stubborn. It suddenly became possible, nay, typical for people to be able to meet and context-switch across multiple locations, projects and initiatives seamlessly. It may not be good for your brain but it quickly became (to quote a phrase we all came to dread) the new normal for people to bounce from meeting to meeting, with no breaks in-between.

Almost overnight, the strategy of saying ‘yes’ to everything meant I really did need to be in four places at once. Having no thinking time or preparation time between meetings meant that often they were adequate at best and ineffective at worst.

I struggled gamely on for almost two years, moving meetings at the last minute, shortening them, ducking and diving as best I could while allowing the stress of multiple simultaneous demands to build up and take its toll on my psyche as well as my calendar. By December 2022, enough was enough.

The Great Reset

In late December 2022, I cancelled every single recurring meeting in my calendar. As a people leader, I had weekly check-ins with my direct reports, skip-levels in both directions, and numerous ceremonies for the teams and squads in my area.

Having created an almost-meeting free 2023, it was time to bring intention to my scheduling. The important meetings (1-1s, skip levels) went back in for times that left me some space and allowed me to remove accidental clashes that had emerged organically. Ceremonies such as sprint reviews were either delegated to others to schedule, or put in for a time that worked for me repeatedly.

×

Give me a break

If any two meetings were back-to-back, I inserted a 15 minute break between then in order to build mental breaks into my calendar. I wanted to:

• follow the science showing your brain needs a cooling-off period between Zooms,
• give myself time for some movement breaks,
• ensure I could make enough tea to remain sufficiently caffeinated for the day.

Finding Focus

I had been using Microsoft Outlook’s Focus Time feature for some time. It allows you to block out up to two hours a day automatically two weeks in advance. Before this year, I had given away the time cheaply, telling people to schedule in time. This had two terrible effects. The first was obvious. I was overwhelmed with meetings and had no thinking time. The second and larger consequence was that I had trained my colleagues to ignore times in my schedule when I was busy. The calendar tetris increased and my thinking time disappeared completely as a result.

This reset would mean nothing without applying some discipline on myself and my calendar. Since January, I've been protecting my focus time, and have become way more effective as a result, both in meetings and outside them. The only invitations I now accept have to work around meetings that have already been scheduled. I told everyone with whom I met regularly that I would be expecting to know the meeting’s agenda or at least its purpose before I would attend, and I could use my new-found focus time to prepare.

It's Not Nirvana

As with so many things, the key to happiness is accepting your lack of control. I still sacrifice some focus time, and find myself having to reschedule recurring meetings on occasion. I can’t pretend that things are perfect and my days are universally well-ordered.

I still spend time at the start of the week moving things around, so that I only have one meeting at any one time that week. The occasional unmissable (and unmovable) meeting still falls from the sky, but I have reached the point where I decline a number of meetings (offering a rescheduled option) so that my calendar is manageable and no longer a major source of stress.

Here are some tips that I learned that I hope can help you.

Tips

1. Get over yourself

If you’re attending meetings out of FOMO, then get over yourself. Think of all the more valuable ways you could be spending your time instead of in meetings. Nobody wants to hear about all the meetings you have to attend, and the fact is, you don’t need to go to all of them.

If you’re a leader and you are in all of your team’s meetings, you may think you’re an empowering leader where you’re always accessible. Your team probably think you’re a control freak and have little or no psychological safety. Trust them to do it without you sometimes. You'll be amazed at the results.

2. Create space

Restructure your calendar. If you’re scheduling multiple meetings in a row, recurring or otherwise, give yourself time between them. I have found that scheduling 30-minute meetings for 25 minutes or reducing one hour to fifty minutes has made no difference whatsoever. The time still gets used up. What has helped is creating real space between calls, so that if you have a meeting scheduled to finish on the hour, start your next call at 15 minutes past. It’s unlikely that anyone will insert anything meaningful into a 15 minute gap, and it gives you important mental breathing room.

3. Start with why

If you’re creating a meeting, or being invited to one, make sure you share an agenda, or at least the meeting’s purpose and then stick to it. Don’t drop extra topics in at the last minute. Respect people’s time.

4. Value asynchronicity

Prize asynchronous communication. Does your meeting need to be a meeting? If it’s an update, can it be sent by email or Slack? If it’s a conversation starter or sharing an idea,, would a Slack channel be more effective for gathering views or feedback?

5. Plan ahead

Prepare. Show respect for the meeting and your colleagues by being ready for it. There are few things worse than spending the first 10 minutes of a 25 minute meeting refamiliarising people with the topic. It wastes people's precious time. If you're not ready, postpone the meeting. You and your team deserve better.

6. Take lunch

You deserve it. Once we started meeting in-person again, my colleagues and I remarked how we never had lunch at home. Take lunch. You need a breather. Just because you can turn your camera off and swallow a sandwich doesn't mean you should. Your body will thank you.

7. Keep at it

Like any change, it’s hard at first when you take hold of your calendar. But if you don’t decide what’s valuable and schedule your time accordingly, someone else will do it for you. Persevere. It will be worth it. You can win Calendar Tetris.